I can remember
It was the late summer and there was still this brewing excitement of a new beginning.
I look back on it now and I remember a consistant feeling that I had at that time.
Every once in a while this certain atmosphere comes about that influences you, and you’ll always remember it in some sense. Like the atmosphere of Upstate that always stays with me, of my dorm from last year, my room at home during the summer, and other various points in time.
It was the weather, the smells, the new experiences, the hope that comes with excitement and the excitement that comes with hope, and the slightly foolish curiosity.
Sometimes this memory comes back to me clearly. Most of the time it’s faded, as it should be naturally. But I remember how curious it all was, how I was happy with discovering new things and meeting new people and learning. How my mind momentarily processed things as if I were much younger.
And now I think to myself, why is it that I am always more fascinated with people when I hardly know them? Why do I like them much more at that point?
I think it is because of curiosity, and my own imagination filling things in. And the desire to learn more, and the moments when that happens, and how fun that is.
I think such fascination only comes if you hardly know someone, or if you know and respect someone so much that their opinions and conversations continue to amaze you regardless.
Often times I will think of a person and what they might represent to me, and I find that I admire them greatly. However secret it may be, this admiration. I am sure most times they do not even know it. Even the most simplest phrases said, I might hold in my head for days and think about their significance. Sometimes I will even write them down. I wonder if it is like this for other people. I wonder how I am perceived. I might act foolish, but I am always concerned that it does not come off as looking inherently true.
I’m sure I could write more, but I feel like I should be writing in my journal.
